Exceptional Mediocrity

2007-06-18T19:16:56Z

If you read my blog through a feed, please divert your occular attentions to: http://www.exceptionalkia.com/feed. Thank you darlings!

Easy Queasy Cover Girl

2007-06-06T17:08:56Z

I feel like, at any point, a sudden movement or quick turning of the head could cause a major vomiting incident here at my desk. Add that to the fact that it's so cold that my nipples are threatening to rip right through my shirt, and you'll thunderstand how bad of a day I'm having. Mid-week drinking is not for me anymore. You know what, let me rephrase - Mid-week binge drinking is not for me. Having a few drinks on a Tuesday, whatever. Playing round after round of flip cup, challenging a 6'4" guy in a full cup chug (oh I lost that one bad) and eating a metric ton of McDonald's at midnight = NOT FOR ME. But do you know what is for me? Coke Rewards. I'll love you long time if you send me your codes ( I know you suckas ain't using 'em). LOVE YOU LONG TIME. I am trying to procure a Wii, for which you need upwards of 6000 points. So obviously it's not happening, but maybe I can get a sweet Target gift card or some other such nonsense. Codes plz!

Happy Summertimes

2007-05-31T15:26:43Z

Tomorrow I turn 25. This marks my official entrance into my mid-twenties, and it seems I have reached a critical point in life. It only seems proper that from henceforth my slight obsession with teenage boys be officially deemed "inappropriate," "sick," and or "pedophilic." I say this now, but tomorrow I will look at the pics from the previous post and retract that statement with the quickness. I'm still feeling a bit warm from those pictures... So, a quarter century huh? Honestly, I still feel, and more importantly act like I'm 18 (and not in the good, carefree way, but the irresponsible, jackassery way), so twenty-five, whatever. Now when I hit 30, then we can talk about getting old (Amy, Ray, can I get a what what?). HAHA! I just burned my friends. Ouch, it's hot in here. And speaking of "What What's", there are few things on this earth better than Maya Rudolph. I love the shit out of this woman. Please enjoy her as Whitney Houston on Weekend Update from the SNL season finale. I can't stop watching.

Can't think of a title - too distracted by the hotness

2007-05-29T18:31:51Z

I'm seriously in a state right now. I'm having a personal summer. Josh just linked me to some great photos from the annual Herndon Monument Climb, a tradition at the Naval Academy that I seem to forget about each year until I see pictures, at which point I declare I will witness the following year. I've never been, so we can see how good I am at following through. If there ever comes a time in my life when I doubt if I like men, this will settle that dispute. This and Jake Gyllenhaal. I'm seriously on the brink of a swoon right now...

Work Log 4

2007-05-22T16:40:58Z

Why are cookie tins so hard to open? I mean delicious cookies are the kind of thing you want NOWRIGHTNOW, so all this time spent sticking your fingernails all up under the lid and hurting and shit is valuable time that is now wasted that could have been spent EATING COOKIES. I pose this and other burning questions in Work Log 4. FINALLYS!!1!

Too much rasterbation will make you go blind

2007-05-15T16:20:15Z

Ain't that the truth? Rasterbator The wall above my bed has been bare and boring since I moved in. Well, for a while a poorly mated print was up there but it looked pretty fucking stupid. I came across the Rasterbator website last week and since I have the patience of not-Job, or more like the patience of GOB Bluth, I had to Rasterbate and I had to do it now. Since a big ass print out of some random image can seem very "happy birthday banner from a 1991 Tandy computer on one of those printers with the holes at the edge of the paper", I wanted to make sure it was a) semi-artsy and b) something that wasn't overused as wall art, i.e. the Eiffel Tower, some NYC shot, clouds, or whatever. Also, in the tiny part of my brain that has vision for the redecoration of my bedroom (which actually is just the decoration since I haven't really gotten around to it), I imagine the walls of my room paying tribute to film, my biggest past time, next to memorizing spells (that was a joke). I decided on this pic because I love Michel Gondry, it's a great shot, I love Michel Gondry, and yeah. See the installation here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/kiamatthews/sets/72157600216190158/ I'll get around to taking a final shot, with my bed back in place, when Josh gets back from his vacation - he's got one of them fancy cameras.

F**k this blog

2007-05-15T15:45:12Z

A few housekeeping issues: 1. I have been getting an insane-o amount of spam comments - I tried to be nice and remove the registration only comment system, because who feels like all that just to leave one measly comment??? But the demons of the internets are ever present, so it's back to registration. 2. In an effort to remove the spam comments, I may have deleted some of the more recent, legitimate comments, so if you see that your comment is gone, don't get all indigent. My bad. 3. I hate my categories. In fact, I hate categories and so does the rest of the internets. The trend has been moving toward tags for a while and well, you know me - trend whore. That being said, the use of tags in lieu of categories will require me to install a newer version of Movable Type - which may take a while, so the site may be jacked up looking or down all together for a bit. I know. You can't live without my sporadic and low quality updates, I know. Be still child. All will be right soon.

Low Interest, Low Class

2007-05-10T18:51:19Z

You know what I hate? Those damn internet ads that have some lady dancing at work or whatever and then turning around as if in shock (unconvincingly, btw) to find someone video taping her. The really stupid part is that it's almost always an ad for low mortgage interest rates... How are these things even remotely related? I guess they are equating the shock of being caught at work practicing for your Nelly video audition to the shock that banks aren't fucking you anymore when you try to buy a house with the money you earned from being in Nelly videos?

Spider-Man 3 (insert mouth-fart-sound here)

2007-05-08T16:24:06Z

Fact: Spider-Man 3 sucks and please don't waste your time. I never felt like more of a movie snob than when I was watching this shit fest. It suffered many of the same pitfalls that X3 succumbed to - too many characters, not enough character development. I mean, the whole Sandman sub-sub-sub plot was a waste of time. His daughter is sick. Boo-hoo. Don't care. Fangs Dunst was as ugly and pale as ever, and her singing voice makes me want to stuff glass in my ears. But oh. Oh. Tobey as emo Peter Parker. I can't even convey the badness in words. It was more like: sdlmggZZF irn 5frthy mdjn bnnon8!!!!!!! Yep. Just like that. For the majority of the film, everyone was engaged in side conversations and no one even cared. That's how silly it was. It ended up being a comedy that wasn't supposed to be a comedy, and unless the film makers intended it to be meta cognitive, a joke on itself, which I SERIOUSLY doubt, it was probably the worst movie I've seen in theaters since the Matrix Revolutions, and that's saying something since that shit was so bad I banished it from existence. In other news, 64 days until Order of the Phoenix. I can't contain my joy. Until then, I will be playing "Dark Arts Defense" on the OotP website, casting spells and knocking bitches out. I'm currently ranked 64 in the world, so check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Flippin Sweet

2007-05-01T18:44:07Z

For the better part of my life, especially in my academic pursuits, I have maintained a firm belief in the "wing-it" philosophy. Over preparation psyches me out. If it's the day before a big exam, I'm pretty sure that if I don't know it now, I'm not gonna know it, so why bother. It's in that same spirit that I and my teammates prepared for this past Saturday's World Series of Flip Cup. Josh brought home some cups Thursday and we practiced for all of 5 minutes (it wasn't pretty, let me tell you). Fuck it, I said. We are going to the tourney to have a good time, flip, and get drunk. Saturday we show up the the Recher Theater in Towson and there were hundreds of people ready to get their flip on. The pool consisted of 40 teams of 6-8 people. We started in a round robin, with 5 groups of 8 teams. We played 5 games in our group and the best three from each of the 5 groups would go on to the round of 16, bracket-style. Let it be known that we really didn't think we would make it out of the round robin. I mean these fuckers looked SERIOUS about the flip. We shocked ourselves by going 4-1 in our RR group and making 11th seed in the sweet sixteen. Even further shock when we made it to the final four. But alas, we were beaten by a group of asshole douchebag motherfuckers, who went on to lose, thank god, to the team that rocked us earlier in the day. Give it up to the number 3 flipcup team in the world!!

What?

2007-04-25T04:26:56Z

God damn it I am drunk. Sean Cody time. Will I even make it to work tomorrow?

Ok. I've updated. Now get off my back.

2007-04-24T19:14:43Z

I'm not dead or anything, in case anyone was wondering. I've just been around. Today I am stuffing envelopes at work, so you can imagine the excitement pulsing through my veins at the current moment. Tonight is week 3 of the hellishly long 8 week kickball season. I could not care any less about the game - I didn't even bring anything to play in. I'm rolling up to the field in straight up work clothes. My main concern for the evening is flipcup at Adam's Mill (class, class, class) which will serve as practice for our team and the select few (like me) good enough to be attending this weekend's World Series of Flip Cup. Why were we chosen you ask? Our mythical FC skills?? Close - we're the only people in town that weekend. Nice. So I'm sitting here, alternating between labeling envelopes and looking at websites and what not, and all I can think about are two things: 1. Roy Rules - amazing SNL Digital Short that I cannot fucking stop singing. 2. THE NEW HARRY POTTER TRAILERS!!1 ZOMG!!!!1!! I know. I know I said I would cut it out, but I mean !!!!!! I can't even count how many times I've watched (and paused on stills of Ron Weasley being all hot) the new HIGH DEF trailer. I almost fucking cried when the International version was released Sunday at 10am. Yes, I woke up specifically to watch it at 10 on the dot. Then today we get the US version in all its high def glory. Imagine how amazing it looks on my 20 inch iMac. Don't be jealous. I absolutely want to have the sex with Ron. Someone save me from myself. But I mean, you can just imagine the hotness under that ugly ass sweater. He looks way buff. Oh, and BTW, if you aren't watching The Tudors you're dead to me. Or you're poor like the Weasleys and can't afford Cable and/or Showtime, in which case I just feel really sorry for you. But seriously, its the greatest show. Its all about history and religion other things that are totally chlorophyll/borophyll, but with hot men and lots of sex so, obviously, great.

Back to the Future

2007-04-12T15:41:05Z

As I walked to the fax machine this morning, documents in hand, I saw that the machine was already engaged with an incoming fax, so I waited a bit. Faxes come out face-down and the reversed-logo through the back of the paper looked strangely familiar. I pick up the fax, and no shit, this is what was sent. No idea who sent it to me, but I haven't been that excited at work ever. Ok, that's a lie. I was pretty over the moon when I unboxed by iMac and really, nothing can compare to the feeling when you first get your mitts on a shiny new Apple product. But this fax is a close second. Whoever you are (Future Kia) you are a genius.

Yet another one

2007-04-03T21:51:12Z

I can feel your judgments already....

Putting eyes out in the name of ROCK

2007-03-28T14:04:39Z

I need you to stop what you are doing right now and take a trip down memory lane - a ROCK AND ROLL trip, that is: